It’s a fool’s paradise up in here, up in here.
After the soul-crushing year we just suffered through, pandemic-exhausted pranksters are taking their April Fools’ Day jokes seriously in 2021.
I kid you not.
While classic time-tested tricks such as placing clear plastic wrap over your buddy’s toilet seat or digitally torturing your bestie with a text message bubble that’s never coming are still viable schemes, it seems everyday rascals and goofball brands alike are pulling out the big guns this April 1.
Check out how wild the chain of fools are going in celebration of the hoodwinker’s holiday.
The Yards in shards
Manhattan’s iconic 150-foot-tall Hudson Yards Vessel will be reduced to dust in a New York minute as developers plan to dismantle the copper-clad structure in the coming days. Instead, a digital rendering of the structure will be sold as a non-fungible token (NFT) in an auction next month, according to the notorious pranksters at the art website Hyperallergic.
The landmark was just asking for some ribbing. New Yorkers have nicknamed the visually striking tower “the burrito from hell.” Many have also joined emotional health support groups in which they share how the Vessel’s avant-garde design has given them frequent nightmares. But to other city residents, plans to demolish the Hudson Yards Vessel just sounds like a horrible joke. And that’s exactly what it is. Gotcha!
Who doesn’t want to glisten with the glow of liquid gold, right? Well Velveeta’s new exclusive skin care line, V by Velveeta, is sure to replenish your skin’s natural rich and creamy complexion. Adding the processed cheese company’s Daily Moisturizer, Night Cream and Renewal Serum to any skin care routine will give you the gloss of a heaping helping of nachos. However, while cheeseheads on Twitter seem to be ready to spend their hard-earned cheddar on Velveeta’s self-grooming products, alas, it was all a big joke.
You’ve gotta be pulling my Leg-o.
Third-degree burns, child birth and root canals all hurt, sure. But there’s probably nothing more painful in life than accidentally stepping on a kid’s plastic Lego block with your bare foot. This is not up for debate. But thankfully, the good people of the Lego Group will soon be introducing SmartBricks — the building toys that magically scatter off to the sides of your path as you walk.
Sounds almost too good to be true, right? Well that’s ’cause it is. Ugh! The empty promises made here are enough to make a person stomp on a little red rectangle in rage.
There’s nothing like a cold drink and a warm slice of pizza. Bud Light knows that. So, they’ve combined the two goodies, creating the world’s first ever pizza-flavored seltzer.
Foodies and boozers now have the option of guzzling down a fizzy pepperoni, extra cheesy, anchovy or veggie-spiked beverage. And the people love it!
Well weird-doughs, hate to burst your seltzer bubbles, but this disaster in a can isn’t a thing. It’s just a prank.
It clears acne in a jiff!
Eating peanut butter and exfoliating away layers of dead skin from your face no longer have to be two separate tasks. Yum! Thanks to a master collab between cosmetics subscription service Ipsy and Jif peanut butter, beauty buffs and snackers can now delight in a few all-in-one healthy treats. The “Extra Crunchy Exfoliating Scrub” and the “Hydrating Creamy Peanut Butter Sheet Mask,” are packed with Vitamins D & E and, obviously, some choice nuts.
Now, before you go all nutty tossing out your pricey, high-end serums and daily cleansers you should know — the IPSY and JIF crossover doesn’t exist.
Sorry, April Fools.
All flushed with knowledge
Remote learning shouldn’t be limited to staring at a laptop in your living room all day. And now, thanks to language-learning app Duolingo, it’s not. The brand is rolling out the first ever three-ply Duolingo toilet paper roll. Each sheet of bathroom tissue comes decorated with sayings translated into other languages like Spanish, Chinese and Portuguese. Always wanted to know how to say “my cat is a lawyer,” in Japanese, but found yourself spending more time on the toilet and less time at the library? Well now, you can kill two birds with one stone, taking a whiz and becoming a language whiz from the comfort of your commode.
Not! It’s a hoax, folks. Clean up and get back to the books.